Muggles 101
by themicroman
Summary: Charity Burbage's first class of the year. Written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition, Season 2, Round 5.


**A/N: **I am Chaser 1 for the Tutshill Tornados. My selected prompts are: When the Lights Go Down (1), "A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams" (9), bag (13). The scene is 'First Day at Hogwarts'.

* * *

Charity Burbage couldn't find the proper room. She had tried to find the Charms room, but it was all so confusing. And those damn staircases...

_Is this... the Muggle Studies room?_

Towering over her was the Muggle Studies professor, Professor Tornbeck. Charity was cowering in fear. Who knew what sorts of horrible torture techniques this formidable foe knew from his study of the Muggles? She had heard something from her parents about Muggles using burning steaks, but she wasn't sure if Professor Tornbeck knew about this. _Calm down, Charity_.

"Hello there!," he boomed. "First day?" Charity nodded meekly. "What class do you have now, young lady?" Charity replied "Ch-ch-charms," with all the grace and sang froid of a baked potato. Luckily, the old man proved to be much less of a threat than Charity had anticipated. He dismissed her fears about missing her first lesson with a wave and a laugh. "I'll just tell old Flitwick that you were having a lesson in Muggle Studies! Let me show you something."

He led Charity into his classroom. She really should have been worried, but her curiosity overwhelmed her now quelled fear. Besides, she was sure Hogwarts must have some sort of wards against anything truly bad happening to little first year girls...

What she saw in that backroom was astonishing. Walls lined with artifacts. Muggle artifacts. Yesterday, the phrase would have been laughable to Charity. But now, she saw Hogwarts' Muggle Treasury in its full splendor, and she could not stop thinking about it.

_I think I know what NEWT I want to take when I'm older..._

* * *

"Okay, class, file in. Come on, I haven't all day!"

Charity Burbage was excited as ever for her first class of the term. A group of pale- looking Gryffindor third years filed into her classroom. She knew that not everyone was as excited about Muggle Studies as she was, but it was a critical subject, in her opinion. Wizards lived very cloistered lives, she often found. When she first became interested in Muggle Studies, she silently swore to herself that her children would be friends with Muggles, no matter what. And so many wizards were not just sheltered, but were raised to look down on Muggles, and that was just a shame. The Muggles have so much to offer wizards.

"Welcome to your first day of Muggle Studies. I am Professor Burbage. Muggles are fascinating subjects, but in this classroom, we will not treat them as subjects. They are our peers. I seek to enlighten you about the Muggle world, and if you keep an open mind, you will discover that Muggles are just as human as any witch or wizard."

She was surprised that some students looked interested. Muggle Studies was a core class, and as such, students who'd rather be anywhere else were forced to take her class. One boy in particular, a red-headed little thing, was staring at her intently with his hand raised.

Charity pointed at him with her wand. "Yes?"

"Hello Professor Burbage," he squeaked "My name is Arthur. My father has told me about Muggles. He used to say that they're primitive creatures, like ogres, but less magical or deadly. Is it true that they have to burn things to see at night?"

"Well Arthur, thank you for your question. You see class, many wizards think a lot like Mr- er, what was your last name, boy?"

"Weasley, ma'am."

"Like Mr. Weasley's father, many wizards think that Muggles are helpless, because they are non-magical. But Muggles are very adept, just like magical people. A crucial thing to understand is that they don't know about magic, so they don't expect magic to exist. They don't feel _robbed_ of anything, because they don't assume that that's how life works. Now, to address Mr. Weasley's father's claim that Muggles need to burn torches to see at night: It is true that they cannot perform the Lumos spell. But Muggles are very clever, and developed devices that produce the same effect, even without magic. Excuse me for a moment."

* * *

This was Charity's favorite part of the class, her main reason for teaching here at Hogwarts, instead of losing herself in the magical Non-Magical world: Hogwarts' Muggle Treasury. Here, just behind a black metal door in her classroom, was a spacious museum with old, creaky shelves filled with Muggle artifacts. And not just modern artifacts; this collection had been started by Baron Lygwam Rotworth V, the first Muggle Studies professor in Hogwarts' history, the man who coined the word 'Muggle'. He pioneered the field, and began, when he wasn't teaching wizards and witches the wonderful ways of the world they had chosen to leave, the close study of Muggle artifacts. He gathered compasses of various makes, swords, and the piece de resistance, the artifact that most intrigued Rotworth. He called it a "fiery weapon not unlike an explosion spell" He considered this to be "the horn of Muggle innovation. These blighters sure do try to overcome their lack of magical ability. I will investigate further." Of course, modern Muggle Studies experts knew that it was called a 'bomb', from which the later spell "Bombarda" got its name, and that Muggles would spend centuries improving on it. "How interesting," Charity mused to herself "that wizards copy from Muggles almost as much as Muggles copy from wizards, and yet, most wizards don't even know it. Or they refuse to acknowledge it." Charity moved past the weaponry shelves, past the time pieces, mechanical calculators, prototypes of various vehicles, and the newspaper clippings, and arrived at the electronics shelf. This, Charity considered to be the greatest section of the lot. She pulled out a light bulb, although her eyes flitted over the phonograph and the rusty radio longingly. She made her way out of the storage room and returned to the class.

"This is called a light bulb. It was invented by a Muggle to provide light, like a Lumos, but for Muggles. You see, when many wizards, like the elder Mr. Weasley, think of Muggles, they think of Muggles from Godric Gryffindor's time. _Those_ Muggles were very different from Muggles _today_. Just as I'm sure many of you can think of all the different ways wizards have changed since then?" The class murmured in agreement as she passed the light bulb around.

"That's what's so bloody brilliant about Muggles!" Charity was getting excited now. "They have changed so much! They have medicines, and technology, and they even surpass us in a few ways! Just because their photographs don't move doesn't mean they're lesser life forms. They have so much to offer us. I hope you'll all find their world as beautiful as I find it. Class dismissed."

If Charity Burbage could have gone back into the Treasury and gotten a photo camera and taken a picture of Arthur Weasley's face as she finished her lecture, she would have framed it and put it above her desk as a reminder of the rewards of the discipline of education. Never had she seen so much awe on a third year's face as she saw under that flaming hair that first day.

"I think I should like to marry a Muggle," the awkward boy blurted out. "I mean- someday. But my father would never allow it. He'd hate me."

"Well," Charity began carefully, "some wizards have very… closed minds about Muggles. Many centuries ago, in what the Muggles call the 'Dark Ages', Muggles hated wizards and witches, and tried to kill them. They were afraid. That's why we separated ourselves from them. But Muggle society, as I hope to teach you this year, has changed. Not only have they developed a kind of magic of their own, but they are more tolerant and loving. More than most wizards…" she muttered this last part quietly. She gestured to Arthur to wait as she ducked into the Treasury. She came out with a small bag, with little odds and ends of which the Treasury had plenty of duplicates: a small snuffbox from the Victorian era, an ancient trainer, a rubber duck, and more. Arthur looked into the bag and back at Charity with a grateful look on his face. "Thank you," he said.

"No, thank _you_. Stay interested." Arthur Weasley left.

* * *

Charity knew things about Muggles that she would never teach here. No wizard could possibly handle it.

Not yet, anyway.

Charity's Aunt Joanne married a Muggle. She knew he was a very nice man, but her grandfather shunned his daughter and her spouse. Intermarriage was a heinous crime then, just as it is now. But Mrs. Burbage had always loved her sister, and did not cut Charity off from their family, so Charity had a unique perspective into the Muggle world. In her own office, Charity had pencils and pens, not quills. There weren't any light bulbs, but she watched a little telly, when no one else was about. She knew.

_THEY SENT. AN OBJECT. INTO. SPACE._

No wizard could ever do that.

Muggles were not just keeping up with the magical world, _they were quickly racing past it_. And, if they knew about magic, they could easily kill all magical life. Charity knew about wizarding wars, but if wizards and Muggles met, it wouldn't even be a war. Charity knew. She knew about the terrible Muggle war. Some wizards knew too, but they didn't know what Charity had been told. About how the War had been ended. And, she had realized, how the Muggles could end us.

"_That's why what I do is so important_," she thought. "_Wizards and witches need to abandon their hateful ways if Muggles and wizards can ever share technology. Otherwise, the hubris of our kind will get us all killed._"

When the lights go down and there's nothing left to be...

"_It's up to me. Someone's got to teach these children_."

When the lights go down and the truth is all you see...

"_The possibility of a future Muggle-Wizard alliance starts with me_."

* * *

R.I.P

Charity Burbage

1890-1997

Regrets took the place of her dreams.


End file.
